I couldn't be a parent and an addict

birth trauma certificate perinatal emotional health & wellbeing mental health perinatal health Jul 14, 2022

It’s easy to get distracted from our BIG why.

The reason why we are so passionate about supporting parents at different stages through their journey 

Why did we decide to train as doulas, midwives, antenatal teachers, health visitors, breast feeding counsellors, lactation consultants anyway?

My passion is born out of tiredness.

I’m tired of living in a society that creates so much trauma with the systems that are suppose to protect (law), educate (schools) and heal (healthcare) the citizens that they serve.

These systems, to me appear to control, coerce and reduce the people who pay for their services.

The World Health Organization says of pregnancy and birth ‘Each stage should be a positive experience, ensuring women and their babies reach their full potential for health and well-being’.

Then why, in the Western world, where resources should be in abundance, is this not the case for at least a third of all women?*

Why do we focus on pathology, why do we have protocols and procedures that are so traumatising?

It feels like our systems are much more about controlling the populous than they are about promoting health, safety or learning.

We need a better way.

We need to stop focusing on pathology and start treating the whole person 

Their whole health. Not their mental health and their physical health because we only have one, WHOLE health.

We need to teach the basics; the mind body connection, how to autonomic nervous system works, what our basic human needs are, how to recognise, understand, express and regulate our emotions, how to recognise and manage anxiety (this alone would be revolutionary and free so many people from their anguish).

We need to start demystifying emotional health and wellness and share the knowledge this with children in schools, service users in healthcare, and those caught in the legal system.

If we did, then our experience with common mental health disorders would rapidly decline.

When I consider how rotten our systems are it’s easy to lose faith, it’s easy to give up, say ‘fuck it, what’s the point? The system will never change. They are all too big, too all pervasive’

But then I remember the power that each and every individual has to make a difference.

When I left my corporate job all those years ago it was because it was making me sick. I couldn’t be a parent and be an addict.

All those years of addiction when I thought that I was faulty, broken, mentally ill, when all I had to do was leave the environment that was making me sick.

When I look back now, I only wish they I had done that and started living my truth much, much sooner.

TBR Certificate course in Perinatal Emotional Health & Wellness starts in September.

If you want to join this quiet (getting louder) revolution in mental health then book a call here and find out if it is right for you.

Also, there is just one spot left on September’s TBR 3 Step Rewind live (via Zoom) course left. You can secure your space and learn this transformation process here.

 *30% of all parents describe their birth experience as traumatic. Source: BTA